Sunday dawns cool in mid June in Canberra. The Brindabella hills are capped with snow and a cold chill is in the air. The forecast is for possible snow but it does not eventuate. Instead a sunny day enables me to get out in the garden after Mass. Whilst trimming the old growth of bushes I reflect on the gospel of today where Jesus asks his disciples "Who do you say I am?"

Deep down all of us are asking each other that question silently all the time. The more mature may actually be able to ask friends what am I like, what are my good points, my not so good points, what do I need to change about myself.

Those of us who are more obsessive probably focus more on our (perceived) failings. An ego inventory of the positive side is more important. I found myself thinking about faith, self identity and communal aspects in worship and service to others.

I grew up in the post Vatican II church, but have inherited some of the
Jansenist beliefs that the Irish Catholics brought to Australia. Self criticism and doubt rule. The traditional Latin Mass probably offers its adherents some sense of being the elect. I struggle on with the novus ordo that the Church continues to promote as the correct style of worship for the current time. For the past 16 years Catholics have been waiting for a new translation of the Roman Catholic Celebration of the Mass, and we still wait. Faith is such a personal thing and I give thanks that I have the gift of faith. Meanwhile I continue to notice that church attendance continues to decline.

In the garden the gum trees are beginning to blossom. Other winter blooming plants have a myriad of buds about to pop open, and the daffodil and jonquils are poking their green shoots higher and higher.

Down the coast I collected a bag full of fine broken shells.I have created a little shell "garden" with a strand of seaweed delicately draped across it, behind it I have placed a number of succulents in little pots with polished stones around each succulent. My artistic side is nurtured a little bit. A pansy creates a purple patch under a small fence but does anyone care?