Life is living the day today. Yesterday has gone and tomorrow is well, tomorrow. Simplistic but true. In days gone by I used to pray "this is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad" I had NO idea what that meant. I thought I did, but I was trapped in a patriarchial authoritarian mindset, that if I said my prayers all would be well.

Over the past months I have learnt to stop embracing my pain, and instead embrace life. I realise how rich the tapestry of my life has been, and how fortunate in so many ways the experiences I have had have given me so much.

It seems so trite to quote from musicals and movies: "and remember the truth that once was spoken / to love another person is to see the face of God" - Valjean (les mis) and again "the greatest thing you will ever learn / is just to love and to be loved in return." Christian (moulin rouge)

Yes love is being given the opportunity to spend several years on a farm and learn about the land and how to feed animals, mend fences and be a rouseabout. To work as a truckies offsider, to be a nurse, to live in an alternative community, to have children and experience marriage. To watch your children grow up. To celebrate life and death with so many people over so many years. I have so many wonderful experiences in my life. I am rich with memories.

For too long, self doubt, guilt and self criticism eroded my pleasure in life. Now a new day dawns, no plans but just living for the day. What was is gone, what is now is worth living. I have faced my demons and assimilated them a little better than in times gone by. If they rear their faces again I may slide down, but I know I can clamber back up again.

The journey continues. One day at a time.