It's that time of the year when friends are away, and life is still, allowing pause for thought.

I re-read my journal for 2007, and realise how far I have travelled, and how I have not travelled at all. I remain me, a complex mix of humanity.

One thing I had failed to follow through with was researching this poem by Thomas Merton:

Song: If You Seek

If you seek a heavenly light
I, Solitude, am your professor!

I go before you into emptiness,
Raise strange suns for your new mornings,
Opening the windows
Of your innermost apartment.

When I, loneliness, give my special signal
Follow my silence, follow where I beckon!
Fear not, little beast, little spirit
(Thou word and animal)
I, Solitude, am angel
And have prayed in your name.

Look at the empty, wealthy night
The pilgrim moon!
I am the appointed hour,
The “now” that cuts
Time like a blade.

I am the unexpected flash
Beyond “yes,” beyond “no,”
The forerunner of the Word of God.

Follow my ways and I will lead you
To golden-haired suns,
Logos and music, blameless joys,
Innocent of questions
And beyond answers:
For I, Solitude, am thine own self:
I, Nothingness, am thy All.
I, Silence, am thy Amen!


It's good to realise it is OK to be alone, but aware that others are so close in a myriad of ways.

Next thing I read tonight is this:

Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes "One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self infatuation and despair... Let him who cannot be alone beware of community"
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update: I have been reflecting on Ron Rolheiser who points out that no matter how in love we are with another, how close we get to another human being, in the end we are called to experience loneliness.

Merton, who Ron also quotes, makes the point that our love cannot be enough for another, and it is in noting that, that we rise above our own selfishness and can be there for others.

Ron goes on to say that; when we accept the absurdity that we remain alone even when united with others, we will provide a centre of peace within ourselves where things make sense; and both marriage and celibacy become both possible and beautiful. (c.f. Seeking Spirituality / Holy Longing final paragraphs, Chapter 9)

UPDATE II:
I have since found this study guide which teases out thoughts even more