August in Canberra has been a cold wet month, winter drags on. But tree buds and blossoms abound. A new spring approaches, probably with the worst hayfever season for yonks. Long hours of work continue but are very rewarding.

Washing feet, speech exercises, cleaning houses, cooking, nursing all make for diverse days. Empowering people who have little in health yet can still make my heart bound and leap for joy, with their words of thanks, smiles or handshakes.

Yet its been a year of almost fortnightly deaths, age and illness kill.

A friend has emailed with news of declining chemotherapy and the desire to embrace the final journey. Included in the email a few lines from Boris Pasternak. I found the complete version:

It is not seemly to be famous:
Celebrity does not exalt;
There is no need to hoard your writings
And to preserve them in a vault.

To give your all-this is creation,
And not-to deafen and eclipse.
How shameful, when you have no meaning,
To be on everybody's lips!

Try not to live as a pretender,
But so to manage your affairs
That you are loved by wide expanses,
And hear the call of future years.

Leave blanks in life, not in your papers,
And do not ever hesitate
To pencil out whole chunks, whole chapters
Of your existence, of your fate.

Into obscurity retiring
Try your development to hide,
As autumn mist on early mornings
Conceals the dreaming countryside.

Another, step by step, will follow
The living imprint of your feet;
But you yourself must not distinguish
Your victory from your defeat.

And never for a single moment
Betray your credo or pretend,
But be alive-this only matters-
Alive and burning to the end.

I remember a young dude at McDonalds drive thru in January, 2006, telling me about his dying teenage sister telling him that pain is bearable because it let her know that she was still alive. May we all burn brightly to the end.

over @ agonist actor_212 posts:

Eight years. The longest war in American history. A war of aggression. 4400+ American soldiers dead. One million Iraqis dead. Who knows how many more displaced and chronically, perhaps fatally, un- or underemployed.

America's first official war of aggression. At least we didn't bother veiling this one behind an attack on a ship. Kofi Annan.

WMDs. NBCs. "They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat." Chemical Ali. Baghdad Bob. Spider trap. Embedding. Qatar.

David Bloom: I miss him still. Peter Arnett.

Colin Powell in front of the UN with a vial of "anthrax". Bush said in a nationally televised White House speech. "Saddam Hussein and his sons must leave Iraq within 48 hours. Their refusal to do so will result in military conflict commenced at a time of our choosing." "Axis of Evil". Three million Romans protesting war (there's an irony), the largest anti-war protest ever. Mohamed ElBaradei. Hans Blix. Scott Ritter. Connection to September 11 attacks. Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda, allies. Muhammad Atta in Prague with high ranking Hussein official. 48% still believe that Hussein was personally involved in the 9/11 attacks.

Yellowcake. Niger. Joe Wilson. Curveball. Valarie Plame. Scooter Libby. Karl Rove. Judith Miller. Ahmed Chalabi. Stephen Hadley. Robert Novak. Tim Russert. George Tenet. "Slam dunk". Paul Wolfowitz. PNAC. Douglas "The Stupidest Man In America" Feith.

Shock and Awe. Moqtada Al-Sadr. Sadr City. Ali Al-Sistani. Coalition of the "Willing". Coalition of the Bullied. Shi'a. Sunni. Kurds. Coaltion Provisional Authority. L. Paul Bremer. De-Ba'athification. Basra. Kirkuk. Halliburton. Humvees without armor. Karbala. Najaf. "Mother Of All Bombs".

Operation Desert Fox (probably never a good idea to name a battleplan after a Nazi). Operation Iraqi Liberation (OIL). Then, quickly changed to Operation Iraqi Freedom. Regime change.

General Tommy Franks. General David Petraeus. General Ricardo Sanchez. Linndie England. Abu Ghraib. Guatanamo Bay. Jessica Lynch, saved but not saved.
Abu Al Zarqawi. The statue in Fardus Square, Baghdad. Most Wanted playing cards. Looting. $9 billion dollars vanished in nine months.

"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" (seven years too early). "Commander Codpiece". Fedayeen. Insurgency.

Amy Goodman. "Fahrenheit 9/11". "Michael Moore is fat". Downing Street memo. John Kerry. Vote irregularities in Ohio. Bush re-elected. Security Moms. Endless war. No war for oil.

"Nothing.... Nobody has ever suggested that the attacks of September the 11th were ordered by Iraq." "[T]he main reason we went into Iraq at the time was we thought he had weapons of mass destruction. It turns out he didn’t, but he had the capacity to make weapons of mass destruction."

Operation Option North and Operation Bayonet Lightning in Kirkuk, Operation Desert Thrust, Operation Abilene and Operation All American Tiger throughout Iraq, Operation Iron Hammer in Baghdad and Operation Ivy Blizzard in Samarra - all in 2003; Operation Market Sweep, Operation Vigilant Resolve and Operation Phantom Fury in Fallujah in 2004; Operation Matador in Ambar, Operation Squeeze Play and Operation Lightning in Baghdad, Operation New Market near Haditha, Operation Spear in Karabillah and the Battle of Tal Afar - all in 2005; Operation Swarmer in Samarra and Operation Together Forward in Baghdad in 2006; and Operation Law and Order in Baghdad, Operation Arrowhead Ripper in Baqouba and Operation Phantom Strike throughout Iraq - all in 2007.

Fallujah.

Purple thumbs. Jalal Talibani. Nouri al-Maliki.

And finally...Last U.S. combat convoy has left Iraq

Never forget. Never. We can never do this again. We must not let it happen. Ever.

A memory jogger of what was.

A Sarah Palin lunch.

Finely chop 1 celery stalk, 1/2 red capsicum, 1/2 green capsicum and then combine with a mashed up tin of tomatoes. Simmer for 15 minutes.

Coarsely chop 6 garlic cloves and quickly sear in olive oil.

Mash up a tin of pink Alaskan salmon with 30gm butter.

Combine all the above and stuff into cannelloni. Drizzle olive oil over top

Cook on 200C for 18-20 minutes then garnish with chopped coriander and parsley.

Side dish, head of broccoli steamed for 10 minutes.

Accompanied by Aldi Cab Sav! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Followed by french style cheesecake with sour cherries. nomnomnomnomnomnom!

Last Thursday night last week I was presented with the Kevin Moyle Award for my efforts in my 2009 unit Christian Symbols, Rituals and Sacraments.

The Kevin Moyle Award for Liturgy or Ministry Studies at the Canberra Campus (Signadou) was established by Mrs Janet Moyle Grad Dip RE (1993), MTheo (2001) in honour of her late husband who was also a graduate of the ACU.

Previous winner Katharine Parks was also a member of St Matthews Parish, Page. For many years St Matthews was my parish where I acolyted with Kevin, and where I was involved with liturgy preparation with both Janet and Kevin. The award is decided by University staff who possibly knew nothing of my involvement at St Matthews with Kevin and Janet!

It is a great honour both to be acknowledged for my theological studies and also to receive an award in memory of a friend.

Blessings land where they will!

Many years ago a sea God called Degei sailed to the Fiji islands from parts unknown. Among the crew onboard the magnificent canoe were two trusted warriors named Cavunatoakula and Ratu Saruta whose duty was to guard a highly treasured box of blessings known as Kato ni Cakamana.

While traveling through the Yasawa group of islands the vessel was struck by a violent storm terrifying everyone on board. Still, the entire crew dared not look upon Degei’s face for leadership knowing that sure death awaited those that did, causing them to fall into a state of panic. To lighten the canoe everything was thrown overboard including the Kato ni Cakamana.

The canoe eventually weathered the storm and found anchor on an island close by Mana Island. A day of feasting and merrymaking ensued and everyone was happy until Degei approached the people to enquire as to the whereabouts of the Kato ni Cakamana, the prized box of blessings. Fearing death, the people hid their faces and were all terrified speechless. Cavunatoakula and Ratu Saruta were summoned to search immediately for the Kato ni Cakamana and without a word the two warriors diligently attended to the task. Nearing the lagoon of Mana island, Cavunatoakula spotted what looked like a small reef in the shallow aqua blue waters which scared him momentarily.

Ratu Saruta, being a fierce warrior and a man of good courage pressed on ahead. To the utter surprise of both men, a great diamond-headed sea snake emerged and drew itself towards them. They were equally amazed when the snake spoke, announcing itself as Manamanaedina, the legend God of Mana island. Manamanaedina then declared that he meant no harm and politely informed the warriors that he knew what they were searching for. He also pronounced that whatever was brought within confines of the reef at Mana could never be returned or taken away. The legend God of Mana then requested that the two men help guard and protect the Kato ni Cakamana.

Realizing there was no hope of ever returning the Kato ni Cakamana, the two warriors feared greatly for the wrath of Degei and so decided to stay and help Manamanaedina protect the box of promises. The two heaped two cairns of stones as two lookout points, which they duly mounted - one facing north and the other south while the great snake lay on the box of blessings. (These cairns remain on Mana to this day and can be found at the garden court of the hotel area and the west of the central activities area respectively).

When Degei heard about what had happened he quickly sent an emissary in the form of a beautiful woman to entice the warriors away. Nearing Mana island the noble woman caught glance of Cavunatoakula and Ratu Saruta but mistook their immobile vigilance as paralysis. Too frightened to go ashore, she returned hastily to Degei to inform the sea God that both warriors had been struck by a mysterious force.

Terrified that his people might suffer the same fate Degei ordered all his people to set sail for the main island of Viti Levu. Thus the approval was granted for Kato ni Cakamana to remain forever on Mana island. As a sign that the Kato ni Cakamana is safe, Manamanaedina can from time to time, at the first rising of each moon be seen near this Mamanuca island paradise.

Long hours of work have kept me far from blogging.

BUT

the gospel and hymns at holy Mass on Saturday night re-invigorated my faith and belief.

The final chapter of St Johns gospel and the hymns "make me a channel of your peace" and "the lord is my shepherd" brought back memories of yesteryear and restored my commitment.

A commitment slightly shaken by the ongoing media feeding frenzy on the Catholic Church.

It's five years since I posted this @ agonist. And remember gentle reader that the media is focusing on the sins of yesteryear.

The sins of today are blithely ignored. It's easier to have a scapegoat, than to confront the sexualisation of todays children that is increasingly driven by the internet.

Maranatha! Come Lord Jesus! is the mantra I and many others use in Christian Meditation. A call that is more heartfelt than ever with all the tragedy of earthquakes, murders and suffering that daily occurs.

Some good things: love the new Dr Who, love the colour of the autumn leaves around Canberra, love the laughter in a group house i visit, love the memories of times gone by when life was expectant, forgiving and accepting.

shalom gentle reader. God is Great!

Compassion, Wisdom and Love.

five years ago: Compassion, Wisdom and Love.

'twas the end of an era, in so many ways!

Oh dear, time has flown gentle readers since my last post.

Long but wonderful days, showering, dressing, feeding, providing respite care, cleaning, putting folk to bed, have caused me to neglect brain dumps here.

At 51 my new employment as a personal carer, is exhilirating. Total care, no responsibility! Skills I learnt as an 18 year old have re-surfaced and my satisfaction and the satisfaction of clients and their families is awesome!

Caribdude, an agonist m8 has posted this, I repost it to get the word out!

---

For some time now we in St. Maarten have been following the efforts of Sean Paton, former BBC reporter and environmental friend, in Bonaire to stop the Scientology 'training ship' Freewinds from dumping it's raw waste water into the ditches and bush lands of Bonaire. For several years now he has been campaigning and posting videos on Youtube on the issue, one of the most recent reports confirmed his predictions and warnings that the practice would contaminate the island's ground water. The fear now is that in the long term, these contaminants will leach through the largely limestone and porous rocks of the island into the sea, last year studies were launched into the possible connections with a die off of spotted moray eels in the coastal waters.

What is truly amazing and astounding is that after Sean reported that wells are now contaminated, the island government of Bonaire have decided to let Freewinds continue the practice for at least another 6 months until a treatment facility can be built. Knowing how slow things move in these Caribbean islands, we have our doubts that this will happen in this time frame. Knowing too how corrupt and self interested most of these island politicians are, I, and many others down this way have some very strong suspicions that Scientology has most likely used it's influence and money to obtain this permission, in fact we believe it has been going on for years. Freewinds, for those who are unfamiliar with the ship, is based in the Caribbean because if it entered US waters it would most likely be seized and condemned because of asbestos.

Scientology as we all know, does not like bad press, so it is our hope that by exposing this story here to all you Agonists, that maybe you can help us give them some. I will be sending this story to Huff, C&L and OGM, but we would really appreciate any help from you all to give it more exposure wherever you can.

Note : It seems that Sean(Paton) removed the two videos, he did inform us that he has been under a great deal of pressure from authorities and that vague threats have been made against him and others. I have reposted them both myself with the expectation they will come after me next to remove them, or request Youtube to, so watch them while you can.

Bonaire-State of emergency Part 1
Bonaire-State of emergency Part 2

---

scientology makes me a sad panda :(

Sean Paul posts:

and my recent favorite, chasing the dragon, which is defined as: Originally in reference to feeding an opium addiction, this can refer to ploughing through any task past the point of diminishing returns, with disregard to one's own health, sanity or well-being.

yup, I can identify with that.

found @ http://glennfriedman.blogspot.com/

HOT DAYS.

It's like late January, early February in Canberra at present.

Life continues to call me onto new endeavours.

After three months leave and a wonderful semester at uni, I was made redundant from the bookshop.

I jumped on jobseek and a home care/nursing agency advert grabbed my immediate attention.

I rocked up for the interview and have begun personal care work.

It's a different pace of life, and personally rewarding.

There is so much suffering in the world in war and famine but the hidden suffering in the suburbs from illness and aging is not exposed much.

I have come full circle in many ways in my life. God is good!

surfacing from study...

re-visited old posts @ agonist:

let me take off my patriarchial hat for a moment, and note that for maybe 50-60,000 years, the womb not the phallus was the predominant cultural metaphor.
Sex therefore served as an icon of the self becoming itself, a very different representational value, relating to erotic desire of divine becoming itself. We are made from stardust and we seek to return to the stars.. We are all neighbours, sharing in the cosmic dance.
The symbol of the womb is not a thrusting, pulsating overwhelming power representation. Rather the womb prefigures the whole human being, a being to be inclusive, embracing, nurturing, intimate - a gentle energy but more overwhelming than the brief pulse of the penis.
The long oppressive history of patriarchal dominance and interference, instilled by male models of philosophy initially and then male led medical practice, debased and decreased a holistic understanding of sexuality that included the female perspective.
As humanity settled into the city lifestyle and war became male dominated, the very idea of neighbour changed.
Today, as in Jesus' day neighbour is someone who lives nearby and implicity has the same value system.
Hence love your enemies became a profound metaphor for early christians. By the middle ages the dictum became personified and thus legitimised warfare between cities/states and countries.
Tolstoy railed against militant nationalism, and used the injunction to love thy enemy as his primary text.
I am continuall amazed by customers who come in and abuse me for stocking books on Buddhism, Islam, and Judaism; truly we have a long way to go in understanding who our neighbour is.

Peter Kreeft writes a reflection as Jesus: So the universe was a womb for humanity, and humanity was a womb for Israel, and Israel was a womb for Mary, and Mary was a womb for me. Thus, Mary is the point of the universe, and I am the point of that point but I have not got the book so cannot check if he is quoting someone else.

turns out the book in question was

Peter Kreeft,The Philosophy of Jesus(South Bend: St. Augustine Press, 2007), 90.

nailed it at last!...

Re-reading Kreeft, I realise with 12 lectures on Pauline literature under my belt, that Kreeft's attempt to write 'The Philosophy of Jesus' was flawed from the start. The gospels are not first hand sources for Jesus' philosophy, rather are edited constructs to re-present his thoughts at the end of the 1stCenturyCE. Ah well I've learnt something...

Well its back to the cold, wet canberra winter, after a very relaxing week in Fiji.

Too many emails whilst I was gone, but one struck a chord, leading me to an interesting poem, that resonates within me:

Deeper cultures called it SPIRIT
pulled from first breath
to a hushed pivot of wingspan, a high point
of recovery over each life, a threshold of faith
in the heart's final treasure, holding its own truth,
its own measure of meaning: urgent, vivid as a myth
or a cave mural: the voice we fell from grace with. . .
it finally happened then: so much splendor went
to waste in us that eternity called collect (imagine,
the richest force in the universe!)
Who knew what to do or say? a pittance of awe
to pay attention with, & we still expected change!
Change came. An age passed, dust settled:
The first were last; a Bell went off
and there came to our senses
only shadows. . .

Michael Masley

Michael, the self styled Artist General and Berkeley street musician is better known for his posters stuck on power poles, but this poem surpasses any of them.

Day 2 of ~123 days leave.

Day 1 started with a sleep in, then time with daughters, and then the d i v o r c e paper arrived. Unexpectedly I was taken out for a wonderful Indian meal by a dear friend, and the pain was numbed by the great meal: perch, potato and spinach, garlic naan and hyderabad lamb mmmmm, and being with a beautiful woman. God always picks me up when I least expect it. Then some computer work, copying over tunes to a friends ipod.

Day 2 another sleep in, then helping out a m8 with some graphical design issues.
Off to university to get my ID card for Semester II - yep I'm returning to the theology study. Daughter time, getting expert at cooking kale/redcabbage boiled in fried cumin!Took advantage of a student deal to grab ultimate office 2007 and wiled away the late evening with some serious newsposting @ agonist.org. I haven't visited Mauberly for a while, I'm glad I did: breaking open Euthyphro and Socrates discussion on piety, the hooting of the unwise owl got me cogitating.

testing out windows 7 and excel 2010
Top 20 countries increase in confirmed swine flu cases:

and using wolframalpha for population figures to produce table of percent of confirmed cases:

This picture keeps entering my consciousness, not sure why but still I'm hoping for a miracle.

Commonsense, statistics and reality all tell me that life has moved on, has changed not ended, but there are no easy explanations.

So I pick up one foot drag it forward and keep moving forward!

I'm taking a leap into the unknown over the next few weeks.

I'll keep on riding the dragon, high or low!

Australia confirms first swine flu case

Australia confirms first swine flu case: "Australia has its first confirmed case of swine flu.
But the NSW woman who arrived in Brisbane on Thursday on flight QF16 from Los Angeles is no longer infectious and had a weak strain of the virus, authorities say.
Federal Health Minister Nicola Roxon said the woman, who cannot be identified for privacy reasons, contracted the disease in late April while overseas and had recovered before returning to Australia"